Me and my mother by Mommy

Today is November 20th. The same day last year, I was five months pregnant and was having dinner with my mother who was just diagnosed with adenocarcinoma disease (a fancy term of lung cancer) in Hong Kong. The disease was extremely aggressive. The doctor confirmed the diagnosis and announced her death sentence almost at the same time. The doctor said her life span would be counted by months or days and the administration of chemotherapy was not for cure but to post long her life span a little longer.

It was a huge shock to everyone in the family. My mother who was a very healthy person would have never expected she would suffer from that kind of horrible disease. My mohter and I went back and forth to different hospitals for treatment. When she had no doctor appointments and was not too tired, we would spend time catching up. I told her about my life in U.S. She told me the childhood stories of me and my sisters and brother that I never heard of. We shared laughs, tears and anger. Even though we believe in different Gods, we prayed together. I prayed to my God to take care of that horrible illness and for her not to suffer and she prayed to her God to bless my health and my baby's. She went on and on to telling me how to take care of my baby since I would be a mother soon. She said one of her biggest regrets was that she might never see her granddaughter. I said "Don't be silly. You are going to be okay and I will bring baby to HK to see you." But both of us knew the chance was dim.

On January 27th 2006, a very cold day. I received my sister's phone call. She told me that mother was unconscious and in grave condition. The heavy breathing sound from the phone was her final goodbye to me. I cried and screamed "Mom, Mom, that is me! Can you hear me? Can you hear me?....Mommy, please rest in peace..... I promise I will take good care of my self and baby......" Death finally came to claim her life and she was gone forever. It is my biggest regret that I was unable to be with her during her very last hours.

My mother never met Julianna but I know she would be very proud of me because I am raising a very well baby.